We can’t force our sexual attractions. Most of us have learned that the hard way.
Yet, there’s something profound that most of us have never been taught: Although sexual attractions can’t be controlled, they can be educated. This post will teach some ways to cultivate sexual and romantic attraction to people who are kind, respectful and available. Even if you’re relentlessly attracted to bad-boys or bad-girls, or to unavailable people, you can still develop this capacity!
These suggestions are not gimmicks, they are the lifelong skills of romance and intimacy—the very same skills you will use to keep passion alive in your next serious relationship. .
The Attraction Spectrum
Every time we enter a room of people, we make choices based upon our attractions: Whom do we notice? Whom do we pass over? Deb, a young stockbroker from Chicago, once told me, “You know, it’s almost magical. I can go to a party, and there’s always one person I’m most attracted to. If I date him, within a few weeks or a few months I discover he has the same emotional qualities as my previous partner. But when I first saw him from across the room, I had no idea at all that this would be true!”
